Always Stand Where I Can See You by Gargiji

Always Stand Where I Can See You

by Gargiji, November 2020

The awakening of the spiritual energy by the Guru is central in our tradition.

I love people’s stories of awakening and Guru’s grace.

So, in that spirit I’d like to share this story with you.

Gargiji at satsang at The Ashram Mount Eliza

I had only been living at the ashram for a year or two, and I was going through a particularly rough patch. I can’t actually remember the events surrounding it, but I do remember that my mind was torturing me. I had an inner block that I couldn’t seem to move, and I hated myself for it. I wanted to ask someone for help, but I thought that my feeling was so awful that I was afraid my presence in the room would horrify people.

I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Now this was a few years ago, before Swamiji’s shoulders started to cause him trouble, and at that time he used to regularly play golf. Maybe someone told him that I was struggling or maybe he noticed that I was behaving strangely, but somehow on this day he invited me to caddy for him.

I was excited to spend time in his presence, but I was also really nervous. I had never caddied before. I didn’t want to do anything wrong. I was also worried that my bad feeling would disrupt Swamiji’s time on the golf course.

We got to the first hole and I gave Swamiji the club that he asked for. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do next so I kind of lingered over by the golf bag and tried to be as small as possible.

Swamiji teed up his ball and then turned around to see where I was. He then told me to stand somewhere in front of him. I moved, then he looked at me and said, ‘Always stand where I can see you.’

As he said that, two things happened. On one level I could hear that he was simply talking about golf. He was probably saying something like, ‘I’m about to swing a golf club, I need to know where you’re standing so you don’t get hit.’

But something else happened too. As he said the words, they entered a deep part of me, and I could feel that they carried the full force of the Guru’s Shakti and grace. I was flooded with light and happiness. My block disappeared.

I realised I was receiving a teaching that had nothing to do with golf.

Gargiji having darshan with Swami Shankarananda at The Ashram Mt Eliza

So, what does the Guru mean when he says, ‘Always stand where I can see you?

The scriptures say that the Guru is the grace bestowing power of God. So, to stand where the Guru can see you is to hold yourself in a way that opens you to Guru’s grace and allows the Shakti to flow.

I didn’t need to hide or contort myself or hate myself. I simply had to be open and present to the Guru. I realized that if I stay open and present to the Guru in every moment, then grace flows.

1 Comment
  • Maggie
    Posted at 17:11h, 05 November Reply

    Gargi, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing 💜You reminded me of the day I felt his true grace and a weight was lifted. It is a life changing moment 💜🙏🏻

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